happy holidays y'all

good wishes from my family to yours
peace and love into the new years

returning

it seems with every trip i take comes the dreaded night before traveling. that might not mean anything to some people, and it would make more sense if it meant nothing to me, given my comfort and ease with the actual process of traveling.. but the nights preceding trips continue to bear on me like a third carry-on.

it isn't something i understand that well (not like i've tried very hard, anyway), but it's even been when i'd be returning to worcester from new york, or vice versa, or like the time pat and i went to the pacific northwest. and definitely about every trip i've taken to another continent i definitely spent the entire nights before packing. ever. so. slowly. and distracting myself with bike videos or music because i'd be stressed the fuck out. it's like whenever i'm about to go anywhere further than a few hours, i get an anxiety about uprooting, leaving my home, finding a new one, if even for a few weeks.

in august i probably had the worst time ever. because that time i really was uprooting. and taking with me whatever i could carry, really. having my bike shipped later was just a necessity for sanity. otherwise it was me and my bodyweight in luggage. trying to find my place in the bay.

tonight i pack again for the west coast. i've been living there for four months now, and while i still can't call it home, i look forward to returning. and only three days ago i was tripping like i didn't want to leave new york again! now i've been here for two weeks of bitter, cold winter and have gotten a solid reminder of why i moved in the first place. the weather, the people, the opportunities for exploration. if i really am finding myself, this is probably a good place to start.

so while i haven't gotten anything together in my bags, i realize all i really brought was a couple shirts, my laptop, and my camera gear. on top of that i think are few things my folks will probably ship for me. maybe there is a loose end here or there that i can pick up and tie in the morning, but for now, perhaps i will actually sleep tonight. after a nice hot shower in MY bathroom. which i'm going to get to now.

well, i guess i'll see you in california?



..or back here in new york. you know, my ultimate return. ;)

through the trees

on the mountains by the sequoias.

where the heart is

returning to the city this time around
this time from across the country
even if only after a few months
i've never felt a stronger belonging
to the streets, and to the people
a belonging that empowers me
i draw energy from the city
and the city draws me home

in the japanese tea garden

that month went by fast

much like this entire year, now that i take the time to look back on it.
has it really been that long? i ask like, did i really jump that far?

anyways this past month...
antonio (bona's bf) went back to brasil indefinitely.
bona (my best housemate) went to toronto for thanksgiving.
she left max and nina (her dogs) in LA with a friend.
jeff (another housemate) brought another dog to the house.
jude (jeff's pitbull) is only a puppy, so she needs attention and training.
bona, max and nina have all returned, so they've all met and are acclimating.
it's already a bunch of strange interpersonal dynamics, now's it just more of em.
all these house matters may become moot to me, as i may be moving.
haha. we'll see about that.

interesting stuff i've done...
i went to sacramento with a few friends and met some serrada escrima dudes.
getting to train a bit with guys with experience was fun and refreshing.
i got sick and was a sniffling mess for a few days, but spent more time
anticipating the sickness and trying to prevent it, and then recovering.
i rode my 3rd san francisco critical mass last night and had a great time.
it went on for nearly 5 hours, was faster paced with fewer riders (still hundreds)
and there were at least 3 sound system bikes. so there were always jams!

december has the potential to be way more exciting,
with friends visiting and my short trip home.
so i'll definitely be taking way more pics,
and can hope to make up for this wack month of entries.

happy holidays.