year end

every year flies by now.
a lot happened in 2012 though.
trained in the philippines.
hosted tuhon mel's seminar.
grew the brooklyn training group.
started teaching at elementary schools again.
began mentoring at a high school.
rode the mtb more than last year.
no cross races, but more riding on the cross bike.
also got to visit worcester for the first time in years.
rode the track bike there and in boston too. fun.
also visited tahoe for a buddy's wedding.
spent some time in oakland too of course.
i guess it was kind of a busy year.

next year is a day away and i'm already planning.
big ideas: bikepacking/camping. gravel rides. mtb rides.
getting our students ready for sparring.
getting a driver's license. finally..
studying for the GRE, maybe?
oh and shooting photos. and video. creating art.
travel will figure itself out.
more ideas percolating..
new year, new adventures.
chasing the horizon.

appreciation

when was the last time you felt really great?

that big, full, overflowing feeling of joy and wonder.

the kind that makes you whoop and yell.

i can't really remember.

and in seeking those big joys,

do we overlook the little ones?

all the small pleasures and half-smiles and bright eyes.

things worth noticing, but we forget.

the focus is shifted the other way.

even part of a moment of something perfectly itself,

could change your whole day if you gave it a chance to.

progress

started teaching at an elementary school after school program. one day a week.
begin mentorship gig next week. also one day a week.

still teaching every sunday.
a couple private lessons throughout the week.

riding the folding fixed gear on the weekdays.
cross bike on the weekends.
looking at gravel rides.

i do and i consider and i plan moves.
nothing big, yet.


yearning for something.
unsolvable mystery.
for the time being.

THREE MONTHS!

oops!

too busy teaching, working, and riding my bike.

specifically, back on my mountain bike. and it's good to be back!

short park reviews:

sprain ridge is full of logs,

some steep climbs, some steep rocky descents,

and is overall a fun and challenging place.

there's even a tough trials-y rock crawl!

that was pretty tough to navigate.

and the park in general was tough to navigate!

the trails were poorly marked,

and we kind of got lost around ridge hill.

but it's worth going back to for sure.

cunningham is flat as a pizza!

you can get motoring pretty quick,

and the singletrack is nice and windy.

windy like a spring, not like a breeze.

fun little ledges and rock bump jumps,

a berm thrown in here and there.

the whole park was really well marked.

you can turn off the green trails into the blue and black,

and end up back on the green to keep moving through.

fun place.

graham hills is next on the list.

living defensively

not to say that you always expect the worst from every person and situation.
but that you understand the probable risks involved in certain places and activities.

IF all of us are to go about our dailies with little effect, good but especially bad, on others,
then there will be little conflict, and most of us will get home without issue or story.
things are seldom so uncomplicated. we are all vulnerable to emotions.
and our social environment tells us how we ought to manage our emotions.
and our social environment does not always provide the best guidance.

so while i won't say it is impossible to live with zero impact on anything,
(and even if that were possible who knows if it would be good for anybody),
even if you were to do the best you could on any given day,
that doesn't mean everyone else will also.

now. WHEN another person you encounter on your dailies for some reason takes issue.
(because it will happen. and you may or may not respond according to social powers.)
HOW you respond is what dictates whether you or they or both of you get home without issue.

if you can keep your head, refuse to engage, and have a usable exit; that is a sound tactic.
if you can keep your head, engage with level words, and have a usable exit; also sound.
IF you perceive their intent to use force, or force has ALREADY been applied;
the game has or will become physical and you need to move away from or into the center.

none of this matters if your head is not kept and you succumb to emotional social violence.
responding by yelling, responding by moving towards the party with issue, NOT LEAVING, etc.
in the context of when law enforcement arrives and someone is hurt and there are witnesses,
you are either "one of the fighters", "the party who was attacked", or "the party who attacked".
who do you think has the best shot at not being handcuffed?

well, if these considerations haven't crossed your mind before, sit and digest that for a bit.

next post will discuss articulating how what you did in this DEFENSIVE situation
was not only necessary, but was also your only option.

from a plane

curved, a photo by mo yun on Flickr.

on my way back from california, i think.

from a park in the east bay

serene with layers, a photo by mo yun on Flickr.

bike stuff: blinky lights

like all bike parts and accessories,
even blinky lights can be a very preferential purchase and possession.
some people want really bright, really secure,
others want small and removeable.
some people prefer steady on all the time,
others like the blinking and patterned strobes.

there was a time when no one i knew cared for blinky lights.
no one owned them. we didn't even consider them. and we rode mostly at night!
then again we were living and riding in new york city.
there really aren't that many places here without streetlamps.

anyways when i finally purchased my first set,
they were a pair of knog frogs. i think that's what they were called.

tiny little led's housed in a silicone pod with a loop to mount.
i thought they were just fine. until i saw a friend use them,
and realized that they were about as bright as a wristwatch light.
and when they died you had to buy these not-cheap watch batteries.
that didn't last very long either. or stay on very securely.
it wasn't a great solution.

i ended up picking up a big ole cateye front torch,
(this is the newer version of what i have)

and a lamp of a rear light by planet bike.

which were and are both extremely bright and effective lights.
they last long, endure poor weather and rough terrain,
and can be used with rechargeable batteries.
they're just a teeny bit large, and the superflash requires a bolt-on mount,
while the my old cateye has a slip-through strap that can be finicky.
i also didn't always require this kind of firepower.

so one day i came across these bike guy lights.
distributed in the US by mashsf.

these lights are super.
super light, super bright, super easy to mount and remove,
and super easy to recharge via mini usb cable.
the rear light has 4 cool blink patterns.
plus they look snazzy and neat.
so unless i need a lot of lumens for night trail riding,
these are my go-to.

for urban cyclists that want small, bright, and easy to move lights,
i highly recommend these.

almost may?? quick update.

march simply disappeared.
it was the philippines trip.
and then april went by fast,
because most of it was spent healing from march.
long story short i got a gut infection that was a doozy.
it's been a slow journey to get back to %100,
but i'm nearly there despite my impatience.
the worst part is having to slow down my walking.

at least i can teach all my weekly classes again.
even if i can't train 50 hour weeks like we did in march.
but i take what i can get.

same goes for getting on the bike.
rode my mtbmx bike today.
rode my cross bike yesterday.
rode my track bike the day before that.
all rides shorter than 10 miles.
"junk" miles are better than no miles.
but i'll have to step it up if i want to race cross this year..

anyways, again this is just personal stuff.

i'm not in a place where i can compose a cohesive "body of work"
about martial arts wisdom and fighting tactics
or amazing bike adventures that i'm currently not having
for a seldom-updated, randomly-visited blog.

not that anyone is asking for that.

still.
there are reasons for stories, right?
so what should i want my stories to do for people?
maybe to provide people with some kind of inspiration?

i mean, my life isn't all that difficult.
and i know that some of the things i do keep me very happy.
i do want to be sharing that happiness, either directly,
or through encouragement to do those things that create happiness.
does that make sense?

i've introduced many people to martial arts, and to cycling.
maybe that's what my story is all about.
sharing those passions.

hmm. yea ok.

it's official

so, i never got around to part two of that style post.
which i wish i could have, because i don't want part one to affect how you read this post.

so before i tell you what is official,
i will tell you that you need to move with what you believe in.
and what you believe in has to have real value and substance.
deciding what has real value and substance is the tough part.
you have to truly understand why you give things merit.
you cannot just accept what anyone says as a truth.
if possible, research and prove it to yourself.

i think that's enough of a preface.

so i just got back from the philippines last weekend.
i spent two weeks (one on the beach in batangas, the other in metro manila)
training my arms off and trying not to sweat to death.
it was an amazing time in amazing company at amazing places.
i came away with a bunch of great experiences,
and a ranking in the system of first level instructor.
so it's official! i'm an official representative.
of a system that i believe in.
that has value and substance.
that i have been teaching and will continue to teach.
that i have been training in and will continue to train in.
it's a lifelong journey and this is just a milestone.
i'm moving forward.

oh if i haven't shared it with you yet,
let me know and i will.

the power of style. part one.

it is easy to be so enamored by a style,
that the style is the only thing you can, or want, to see.
and why not? beauty exists for us to fixate on.
all great works of life and nature are,
in the context of all noteworthy human experience,
amazing and special and deserve that recognition.

in terms of human-made art it can be easy to appreciate all kinds.
but infatuation, love, and commitment are stronger feelings;
these feelings are less likely to be shared across the field.
this is because these emotions require a better understanding,
a true and deep knowledge, of what they shall elevate on their shoulders.
you see this in every field of every kind of study: the specialists.
they have discovered in their study that very specific passion..

once a disciple is converted, they become their obsession.
they delve into that quest for knowledge and understanding.
they become representatives and advocates for the style and its virtues.
they become experts in knowledge.
hopefully they become experts in application.

all for a style.
all within context.

to be continued..

falling off, moving forward

i have numerous bookmarked blogs in a folder in my browser.
turns out several of them are no longer active.
kind of like how mine can get sometimes.
i wonder if we are just the uncommitted bloggers.
it isn't part of my daily ritual.
i don't need to write.
and i also don't have any clear obligation to either.
how many blogs do you suppose are online,
that have only a handful or less of regular readers?
probably the majority. i'd guess.

anyways,
you can rest easy that when i'm not here writing
i am doing useful and fulfilling things out in the real world.
falling off of blogging means moving forward with life.

i am continuing to teach the kali group down in brooklyn.
i also have several private students with specific curriculum needs.
those lessons are very rewarding for me,
because it challenges my ability to express specific parts of combatives
while still imparting a clear and complete structure for application.
if that makes sense.
skills and concepts are tools,
but to recognize the context in which to use the concepts and tools
is to apply the knowledge.

i'm also riding my bike more.
still not every day: not ideal.
but 15 to 20 miles here and there are very good for me.
the last 15 being through manhattan and brooklyn.
not the most relaxing kind of ride, but a necessary reconnect.
the 20 before that up and around westchester.
half of it on relaxing trailway and a small portion of dirt trail.
the other fraction on terrible shoulder-less barely-suburban road.
tomorrow i'm shooting for 30 out-of-traffic miles.
oh and all of this has been on the cross bike.
i'm learning to like gears.
and clipless pedals.
and kit with chamois.
look at how far i've come.


...
you don't really need to know any of this.
but i suppose i write for the off chance that you do come back here,
so that maybe i can make it worth the click.

preparedness

"Being prepared for any crisis, whether natural disaster or social upheaval, is as natural and logical as exercising and eating healthy foods. Taking care of yourself physically doesn't mean you're a hypochondriac. Having fire extinguishers and smoke alarms doesn't mean you have a phobia about fire. Being ready to protect yourself and your family doesn't make you paranoid.

Whether the fight is verbal or physical, the first law of human conflict is to be able to predict where the attack will come, and already have a counter in place for it. If your lifestyle and values are subject to deliberate or accidental misinterpretation, be prepared to defend that lifestyle and those values as surely as you stand ready to protect yourself and yours."

-Massad Ayoob

from this article on backwoods home.

finally snow

it last snowed two and a half months ago. around halloween.
weird winter.

snow is nice. streets become quiet.
away from the city the landscape stays pristine and white.

further out, rides like these are possible.



gotta tune my mountain bike and get out there!

oh yeah. in november '11 i did a cross race.

that's me on the left, and frank on the right.
at the start of our first cyclocross race.



i'd raced alleycats on my track bike.
i rode mountain bikes before all this 700c business.
i even had a SSCX bike for a couple years and took that to the trails.
it spent a bunch of that time set up fixed too. that was fun.
but i had sold that bike to fund a disc CX riserbar bike.. aka a hybrid,
which ended up being my do-it-all rig.
i never planned on racing. especially being back east, off the bike, and out of shape.
especially in cyclocross, a discipline renowned for being painful and vomit-inducing.

when i goaded my good friend frank into getting a cross bike,
all i wanted was a partner to ride trails with.
i should have known that he'd want to race it; he was an ironman racer.
and i couldn't disappoint him; he had purchased cause i had told him to.

so i bought a clipless setup (i was a clips n straps or flat pedal guy), trained barriers one night,
and went out to staten CX to play in category 4.

to my surprise, i didn't get dead-fucking-last!
i started mid-pack, got passed a few times,
and i even beat my ironman friend by one (1) spot.
74/100 for zero training and having rode maybe 10 miles that month,
i was happy. and amped to race more than just once next season.

then i can have some goals (gasp!) to shape training (gasp!) around.
i thought bike riding was supposed to be fun.
but there will always be weirdos like this:

my blog
by: nofinishline

see you out there in the dirt!

2012 begins

and what did i take with me from 2011?
like every year before, it came with experiences
that change the shape of what it means to do good,
and the idea of who and what i do right by.

i didn't realize what that even meant for me.
not until i considered what my highest values were,
or that they could change over time.

throughout life everyone will gain some things and lose others.
last year, in order to move forward with one teacher, i had to leave another.
that also meant leaving a brotherhood that for a time meant a lot to me.
i didn't feel like i had a choice.
my pursuit of higher knowledge could not be put into question,
but in its wake i was exposed to others' feelings that made me see their truths.
i crossed the bridge and cannot turn back.
here, the highest value is knowledge.

in 2011 i also left behind what had become my west coast home.
oakland gave me four brilliant years of sun and rain and friendship and paths.
i met many likeminded people who i hope to know for many years.
the weather was fantastic and a winter of rain was easier to endure.
my bike rolled out with me every day, and i got used to it.
...
some day i will ride oakland daily again.

until then, here i am, back in new york!
with much of the family and many old friends,
in the hometown landscape that i used to hold more highly.
i know the city well, so well that what i love and hate about it
are clear to me and that clarity amplifies the love and hate.
so it is as good, as it is bad, to be back.
new york is the city of ambivalence.

that doesn't mean these next years will be happily unpleasant!
these next chapters simply have a more complex landscape to flip through,
and the challenges will be as difficult as the rewards will be worthy.
2012 will see developments, progression, and maybe some big decisions too.

within the past several years, many of my written entries have rounded back,
to the idea that everything anyone does should be done with consideration.
that the right reasons be the cause,
and that even if there is no goal,
there should be progress.

i hadn't in those entries considered the greater values at the roots.
knowledge, justice, ethical responsibility and personal responsibility.
i need these to be strong in my mind, to encourage them,
and move forward with them.